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Tuesday, October 24, 2006 |
| Express Movie Reviews II
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It's been a long time since I reviewed any movies... it's about time I gave some retrospect...
The Illusionist: Eisenheim is a stage magician who amazes the audiences of turn-of-the-century Vienna, drawing the attention of Crown Prince Leopold. When the Prince's intended, Sophie von Teschen, assists the magician onstage, Eisenheim and Sophie recognize each other from their childhoods -- and a dormant love affair is rekindled. As the clandestine romance continues, Chief Inspector Uhl is charged by Leopold to expose Eisenheim, and Eisenheim prepares to execute his greatest illusion yet.
Rating: thumbs up
Barnyard - The Original Party Animals: Down on the farm, the farmer thinks he's in charge, keeping all the animals safe and sound. But when the farmer is out of sight, the lookout sheep shouts "Clear!" and all of the barnyard animals spring up on two legs, walk, talk, watch TV, and orchestrate practical jokes. For Otis the cow that last one is the most important. He and his best friends--Pip the mouse, Freddy the ferret, Peck the rooster, and Pig the pig--are world-class pranksters and always in the mood for a laugh. Otis is in the state of arrested development and quite happy that way. Otis's dad, Ben, is the cow who makes sure the farm is running on all cylinders. Each morning, Ben leads a meeting to take care of farm business and to issue warnings about their common enemy, the coyotes. (It's a position that Ben takes seriously: "As long as I'm still kickin'," he says, "no animal will be harmed inside that fence!") Ben wants Otis to grow up and take responsibility. Much to Ben's chagrin, Otis's main project comes to life every evening. As soon as the Farmer hits lights out, the barn is transformed into Party Central. On this night, there's even a pretty new cow, Daisy--Otis hams it up for her, and she can't help but be attracted to his fun-loving personality. That world is not for Ben. He's outside, guarding the fence and protecting the farm from the coyotes. When Otis explains to Ben that being on watch isn't "his thing." Ben responds: "Otis, a strong man stands up for himself, a stronger man stands up for others." When Ben is no longer able to lead, Otis tries to keep order but the role of leader does not come as naturally for him. Without Ben to keep everyone in line, absolute mayhem breaks loose and it isn't long before the farmer begins to get to the bottom of the animals' secret--and the scheming coyotes begin to think that the farm could be theirs for the taking.
Rating: thumbs up
Beerfest: When American brothers Todd and Jan Wolfhouse travel to Germany to spread their grandfather's ashes at Oktoberfest, they stumble upon a super-secret, centuries old, underground beer games competition--"Beerfest," the secret Olympics of beer drinking. The brothers receive a less than warm welcome from their German cousins, the Von Wolfhausens, who humiliate Todd and Jan, slander their relatives, and finally cast them out of the event. Vowing to return in a year to defend their country and their family's honor, the Wolfhouse boys assemble a ragtag dream team of beer drinkers and gamers: Barry Badrinath, the consummate skills player with a dark past; Phil Krundle (aka Landfill), a one-man chugging machine; and Charlie "Fink" Finklestein, the lab tech with a PhD in 'All Things Beer'. This Magnificent Five train relentlessly, using their hearts, minds and livers to drink faster, smarter and harder than they ever have before. But first they must battle their own demons--as well as a bunch of big, blond, German jerks who want to destroy the team before they can even make it back to Munich.
Rating: so-so
John Tucker Must Die: When three popular girls from different cliques discover they've all been dating the school stud, they band together to seek revenge. Despite the jerk's charm and ever-growing popularity, the girls cleverly scheme with the help of the inconspicuous new girl in town, to soil his reputation and break his heart.
Rating: so-so
Cars: Lightning McQueen, a hotshot rookie race car driven to succeed, discovers that life is about the journey, not the finish line, when he finds himself unexpectedly detoured in the sleepy Route 66 town of Radiator Springs. On route across the country to the big Piston Cup Championship in California to compete against two seasoned pros, McQueen gets to know the town's offbeat characters--including Sally, a snazzy 2002 Porsche, Doc Hudson, a 1951 Hudson Hornet with a mysterious past, and Mater, a rusty but trusty tow truck, who help him realize that there are more important things than trophies, fame and sponsorship.
Rating: thumbs up
Step Up: Everyone deserves a chance to follow their dreams, but some people only get one shot. Tyler Gage is a rebel from the wrong side of Baltimore's tracks--and the only thing that stands between him and an unfulfilled life are his dreams of one day making it out of there. Nora is a privileged ballet dancer attending Baltimore's ultra-elite Maryland School of the Arts--and the only thing standing in the way of her obviously brilliant future is finding a great dance partner for her senior showcase. When trouble with the law lands Tyler with a community service gig at Maryland School of the Arts, he arrives as an angry outsider, until his skills as a gifted street dancer draw Nora's attention. Now, as sparks fly between them, both on and off stage, Tyler realizes he has just one performance to prove that he can step up to a life far larger than he ever imagined.
Rating: thumbs up
My Super Ex-Girlfriend: Everyone's had a painful parting of the ways with a romantic partner. We pick up the pieces and move on. But for one New York guy, it's not going to be so easy. When he breaks up with his girlfriend, he discovers his ex is actually the reluctant superhero, G-Girl. A scorned woman, she unleashes her super powers to humiliate and torment him.
Rating: thumbs down
A Prairie Home Companion: After 32 years, Garrison Keillor's radio variety show is coming to an end. Set on a rainy Saturday night in St. Paul, Minnesota, fans file into the Fitzgerald Theater to see "A Prairie Home Companion," a staple of radio station WLT, not knowing that WLT has been sold to a Texas conglomerate and that tonight's show will be the last. Backstage cast and crew assemble for one last hurrah. They include: The Johnson Sisters, Yolanda and Rhonda, a country duet act that has survived the county-fair circuit; Lola, who gets her big chance to sing on the show and then forgets the words; Guy Noir, a private eye down on his luck who works as a backstage doorkeeper; and Dusty and Lefty, the Old Trailhands, a singing cowboy act.
Rating: two thumbs up
Click: A workaholic architect, who has been overlooking his family in favor of his career, comes across a universal remote that allows him to perform TiVo-like functions on his life, such as pausing events or fast-forwarding over them. When the remote begins creating its own memory and choosing what to fast-forward over, the man sees how much of his personal life has passed him by and realizes the importance of spending more time with his family.
Rating: thumbs up
Scoop: The prominent--and recently belated--U.K. journalist Joe Strombel is being mourned by his fellow colleagues. Meanwhile, even as he's frustratedly stuck in limbo, Joe remains committed to pursuing a hot tip, from beyond, on the identity of "the Tarot Card Killer," who's still at-large in London. But how can his legwork get done now that he's dead--the answer is simple: via the very much alive Sondra Pransky. An American journalism student, Sondra is visiting friends in London. While watching a stage performance by another American, magician Sid Waterman (a.k.a. Splendini), Sondra is shocked to find herself able to see and hear the belated journalist. From beyond, Joe gives her the scoop of a lifetime and urges her to pursue it. Sondra immediately starts chasing the big story, enlisting the aid of a very reluctant Sid. Her chase leads right to a handsome British aristocrat, Peter Lyman, with whom she falls head over heels. Soon, Sondra finds that the romance of her lifetime may very well be the dangerous scoop for which she is in hot pursuit.
Rating: thumbs up
Garfield - A Tail Of Two Kitties: When Garfield follows his owner, Jon Arbuckle, to England, the U.K. may never recover, as Garfield is mistaken for a look-alike, regal cat who has inherited a castle. Garfield savors the royal treatment afforded by his loyal four-legged subjects, but his reign is in jeopardy. The nefarious Lord Dargis is determined to do away with Garfield, so he can turn the castle into a resort. Garfield's bigger, better, more purr-fect world is soon turned upside down.
Rating: so-so
Zoom: A former superhero is called back to work to transform an unlikely group of ragtag kids into new heroes at a private academy.
Rating: thumbs down
Thank You For Smoking: Nick Naylor, chief spokesman for Big Tobacco, makes his living defending the rights of smokers and cigarette makers in today's neo-puritanical culture. Confronted by health zealots out to ban tobacco and an opportunistic senator who wants to put poison labels on cigarette packs, Nick goes on a PR offensive, spinning away the dangers of cigarettes on TV talk shows and enlisting a Hollywood super-agent to promote smoking in movies. Nick's newfound notoriety attracts the attention of both tobacco's head honcho and an investigative reporter for an influential Washington daily. Nick says he is just doing what it takes to pay the mortgage, but the increased scrutiny of his son and a very real death threat may force him to think differently.
Rating: two thumbs up
Over The Hedge: Just whose backyard is it, anyway? Spring has sprung, and Verne and his woodland friends awaken from their long winter's nap to discover that a large, green hedge has cropped up right through the middle of their once-natural habitat. Enter RJ, an opportunistic raccoon who explains that the world beyond the hedge is "the gateway to the good life" where peculiar creatures called humans live to eat, rather than eat to live. "For humans," RJ proclaims, "enough is never enough." Suspicious and even a little jealous of the charismatic smooth-talking RJ, the ever cautious Verne wants to keep his blended family safely on their side of the hedge. But, proving the adage that one man's garbage is another man's--or, rather, animal's--treasure, the manipulative RJ has his own reasons for convincing the woodland band that there is little to fear and everything to gain from their over-indulgent new neighbors. Eventually, RJ and Verne form an unlikely friendship as they and their furry friends learn to coexist with--and even exploit--this strange new world called suburbia.
Rating: thumbs up
Nacho Libre: Nacho is a man without skills. After growing up in a Mexican monastery, he is now a grown man and the monastery's cook, but doesn't seem to fit in. Nacho cares deeply for the orphans he feeds, but his food is terrible--mostly, if you ask him, a result of his terrible ingredients. He realizes he must hatch a plan to make money to buy better food for "the young orphans, who have nothing" (and if in doing so Nacho can impress the lovely Sister Encarnacion, that would be a big plus). When Nacho is struck by the idea to earn money as a Lucha Libre wrestler, he finds that he has a natural, raw talent for wrestling. As he teams with his rail-thin, unconventional partner, Esqueleto (the Skeleton), Nacho feels for the first time in his life that he has something to fight for and a place where he belongs. As Lucha is strictly forbidden by the church elders at the monastery, Nacho is forced to lead a double life. Disguised by a sky blue mask, Nacho conceals his true identity as he takes on Mexico's most famous wrestlers and takes on a hilarious quest to make life a little sweeter at the orphanage.
Rating: so-so
The Break-Up: Pushed to the breaking-point after their latest, "why can't you do this one little thing for me?" argument, art dealer Brooke calls it quits with her boyfriend, Gary, who hosts bus tours of Chicago. What follows is a series of remedies, war tactics, overtures and underminings suggested by the former couple's friends, confidantes and the occasional total stranger. When neither ex is willing to move out of the condo they used to share, the only solution is to continue living as hostile roommates until somebody caves. But somewhere between protesting the pool table in the living room, the dirty clothes stacked in the kitchen cupboards and the sports played at sleep-killing volume in the middle of the night, Brooke begins to realize that what she may be really fighting for isn't so much the place but the person.
Rating: so-so
RV: An overworked Bob Munro, his wife Jaime, their 15-year-old daughter Cassie and 12-year-old son Carl are in desperate need of some quality time together. After promising to take them on a family vacation in Hawaii, Bob abruptly changes plans without telling them. Instead of a week in a tropical paradise, they're going on a road trip to Colorado in a recreational vehicle. Dragging his wife and kids kicking and screaming into the RV, Bob's togetherness plan (which is partly a ruse to keep him from losing his job) almost immediately hits a major speed bump. Everything that can go wrong, does. Bob's lame attempts to navigate the unwieldy, oversized vehicle are met with silence and scorn from his resentful family. The RV life is a far cry from their comfortable life in Los Angeles, and every attempt Bob makes to get them into the spirit of the vacation threatens to tear them further apart. At an RV camp, the Munro family is befriended by the Gornicke family--an irritatingly endearing happy-go-lucky clan of full-time RVers. The more they try to elude the Gornickes, the more their paths seem destined to cross. But adversity has a way of uniting even the most dysfunctional family members and each setback the Munros experience inadvertently helps them become a true family again.
Rating: thumbs up
Friends With Money: Tale of four west coast, life-long friends, who have achieved a level of comfort in their lives and have now settled into a life of designer clothes, charity events, and caring for the men (and offspring) in their lives. But as they approach 'a certain age,' unsettling things are starting to throw their comfortable lives off balance.
Rating: thumbs up
Art School Confidential: Talented young artist Jerome Platz escapes from high school to a tiny East Coast art school. Here the boyish freshman's ambition is to become the world's greatest artist, like his hero Picasso. Unfortunately, the beauty and craft of Jerome's portraiture are not appreciated in an anything-goes art class that he finds bewildering and bogus. Neither his harsh judgments of his classmates' efforts or his later attempts to create pseudo-art of his own win him any admirers. But Jerome does attract the attentions of his dream girl--the stunning and sophisticated Audrey--an artist's model and daughter of a celebrated artist. Rejecting the affectations of the local art scene, Audrey is drawn to Jerome's sincerity. When Audrey shifts her attentions to Jonah, a hunky painter who becomes the school's latest art star, Jerome is heartbroken. Desperate, he concocts a risky plan to make a name for himself and win her back.
Rating: so-so
Poseidon: When a rogue wave capsizes a luxury cruise ship in the middle of the North Atlantic Ocean, a small group of survivors find themselves unlikely allies in a battle for their lives. Preferring to test the odds alone, career gambler Dylan Johns ignores captain's orders to wait below for possible rescue and sets out to find his own way to safety. What begins as a solo mission soon draws others, as Dylan is followed by a desperate father searching for his daughter and her fiancee--a young couple who hours before couldn't summon the courage to tell him they were engaged and now face much graver challenges. Along the way they are joined by a single mother and her wise-beyond-his-years son, an anxious stowaway and a despondent fellow passenger who boarded the ship not sure he wanted to live but now knows he doesn't want to die. Determined to fight their way to the surface, the group sets off through the disorienting maze of twisted steel in the upside-down wreckage. As the unstable vessel rapidly fills with water each must draw on skills and strengths they didn't even know they possessed, fighting against time for their own survival and for each other.
Rating: thumbs up
Goal! The Dream Begins: How far would you go to live your dreams? When Santiago Munez is given the chance of a lifetime, he must leave his family, his life in Los Angeles and everything that he knows to travel halfway around the globe to England and into a completely foreign world--the exciting, fast-paced and glamorous world of international soccer. As an underprivileged Mexican-American immigrant growing up in the poor section of Los Angeles, Santiago seemed destined to follow his father's path in life: laboring at menial jobs to earn just enough money to support his family. Naturally gifted, his amazing talent on the soccer field was wasted in recreation league games while he could only dream of playing on the world stage of professional soccer. But when a British scout discovers his talent and gets him a tryout with one of England's premier soccer clubs, Newcastle United, Santiago must choose between his father's fate and his own destiny. Now alone in a world where soccer is a religion and players are gods, this underdog must prove that he's got the talent and determination to make it amongst the best in the world.
Rating: so-soLabels: movie |
| posted by
WanTse @ 10/24/2006 02:55:00 pm
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